Visits to two of my favorite groups in Rwanda

   There were two groups I (Sally) was especially eager to be with during our time in Rwanda. Friday we spent God-filled time with both of them.

Dukundane widows group

     The original group of widows brought together by Shalom is called "Dukundane," a name they chose which means we love one another, and boy do they. These 20 women, age 55 - 84 were all hidden away in their homes, isolated, depressed and generally having given up after a lifetime of suffering and losses. Shalom leader Elaine went door to door and invited them to come together. She simply loved them and listened to them. Most have since participated in a healing workshop as well.

85 year old Bernadette putting in her weekly savings while Eliane enters it in the account book

   We greeted each other as old friends, and they were eager to start in telling us about the positive changes in their lives since they started coming together to pray, listen to the word of God and save together. Grandma Console, whose home was repaired by the St. James VBS kids, is a part of this group. Many were wearing colorful t-shirts we had brought them last year from Hobby Lobby, and gorgeous new pieces of fabric wrapped around their waists...fabric they had purchased for themselves with their savings from last year. They were so proud and so beautiful! Many said this group has helped them to feel young again. Now they are saving in advance for their medical insurance which is paid in June each year. This $5 a year is saved by weekly contributions of 50-100 Rwandan francs, about 6-12 cents. This is a major accomplishment for people who may earn less than $1 for a full day of labor cultivating a neighbor's field. Over and over they shared how finding community and God's love has changed everything for them.  Sadly, they told us several members had not been behaving with good character (drunkenness) and they were removed from the group recently because Dukundane truly wants to be seen as the light in the community. Other women were eagerly waiting in line to be invited in. These women are serious about wanting to make a difference in their village.
  This is the group of women who received small wooden bed frames, thin foam mattresses and sheets and blankets last year (partly from their savings and the generous gift of a woman in Colorado). They marveled at the fact that they were now sleeping on mattresses. Several woman shared that they had never slept on a mattress until this year...a reminder to us all to be grateful.
   Jean Paul had requested a blood pressure cuff to monitor some of these women. Bonnie taught him how to take the blood pressure for women such as Esther....whose reading that day was 220/120. YES this is needed! Jean Paul will take her to the clinic very soon for medication.
   Several months ago I made the decision to share from Philippians 4 with these women. My friend Lory even prepared beautiful laminated copies of the Scripture in the local language for me to present to each one (Esther is holding hers in the picture below). I always pray before these trips, asking God to guide me to the right passage. As our time together began, sitting on low wooden benches on a red dirt floor, the group's leader, Venancie stood to share the devotion she had chosen for the day. Yes, she too had chosen Philippians 4. We rejoiced together that the Holy Spirit was indeed among us.
   Our time ended with more singing, dancing and prayer. Then we were presented with a gift from the group. We are no longer "visitors" but friends who return year after year. It was the first of FOUR chickens we have been given over the past two days. We are trying to not get too attached to them.....

Grateful Grandma Console

Esther showing off her beloved bed

Our very costly, and lively gift

Taking Esther's BP

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    We climbed back into the SUV for another 30 minutes of bouncing along the "road" and pulled up in front of a cluster of very small mud brick homes with the usual collection of goats, chickens and small children everywhere. This was an extremely poor area and most children were very dirty and wearing literal rags, but they greeted us with warmth and showed us the way to the home we wanted. Gathered there were 6 mothers and their handicapped children - all very clean and clearly well cared for. Most were wearing the clothes I see in every picture - perhaps the only set of clothes they own. This group called "Jyamubandi" has been meeting less than two years. Each Wednesday the moms come together at this home to pray, have someone read Scripture, and to discuss their common problems and encourage one another. The moms took turns holding and caring for each others children as if they were their own, something unique in a culture than shuns such children. 

They have developed true friendships with each other. Our very presence in their home, and our obvious love for each of their children was a sermon all its own, and the while neighborhood had come out to listen. Inside the house we all shared with each other, sang and spoke of God's activity in our lives. Then we went outside where we set up a grass mat and small mattress so Bonnie could spend time with each mother and child showing the moms simple things they could do to make their children more comfortable or to improve function.

The mothers and children of Jyamubandi and Elaine from Shalom

neighbor kids displaying new stickers
keeping them occupied while Bonnie worked with moms

Marie Louise presents a chicken to Sally

7 year old Marie Louise with Bonnie
She tried going to school but the other children were so cruel she quit
She has a beautiful spirit and dances even with her many deformities

Jean Paul even got down on the mat so this mom could practice what Bonnie was teaching

 Watch Bonnie receive a kiss from 17 year old Kabago as she teaches him to hold a pen in hopes of some day learning to write. His hands are terribly deformed from falling into the fire as a young child.

    We have seen and heard some very, very difficult things over the past week. Things we can not change. Things we can not fix. Things we can not even explain. There are many things that are breaking our hearts every day. We are finding it so important to not let that cloud our vision for what God HAS been doing, and what HAS changed for the better. Yes, things are not good....but they are not the same as a year ago. We know our efforts to advocate for groups like Shalom and Love With Actions is NOT in vain. Those of you who partner with us ARE making a difference. These children are still suffering every day, with physical issues and serious bullying and even abuse from others. These mothers have an impossible task before them with no help, no physical therapy or surgical treatments available, not enough food or clean water, no one to teach the deaf child sign language, and on and on. And yet two years ago they did not have each other. They did not have friends who understand. They did not have Shalom visiting them and bringing small items like blankets, food, love and prayer. They did not have wheelchairs (provided by Shalom). Over and over we see that loneliness and isolation are the great enemies, and people coming together is the first step toward life improving. That is a good reminder for all of us, in every culture, including America. 

   After dinner at our guest house Bonnie and I went outside to enjoy the evening glow of Nyiragongo Volcano, the largest active volcano in the world, which is always visible spewing clouds of smoke and steam everywhere we go. We're not in Kansas any more.....

Moving from Bumbogo to Rubavu for part 2 of our trip

Wednesday Oct.  3 and Thursday Oct. 4

supplies for moms

perfect consistency

 As a part of Bonnie's assessment of the children at Love With Actions she discovered that several children with disabilities were having difficulty eating.  With Bonnie's background in feeding in Early Intervention she was able to help 8 families find nutritious, safe and culturally appropriate offerings for their children.  This included making porridge with milk instead of water and increasing the thickness for the children to swallow without choking.  Your generous donations provided each of the eight families with a flask to keep the cooked porridge warm throughout the day, cup to measure, porridge powder and milk.  Cooking demonstrations were performed with the moms to make sure they understood how thick the porridge should be.  The previous day the mothers learned the fundamentals of feeding children with swallowing issues including pushing the tongue down with a spoon, lip closure, proper posture, chin tuck and patience with each bite until a swallow is heard.  The mothers were able to identify safe versus unsafe swallowing.

Saying "Good bye!" to Love with Actions and heading to Gisenyi on the border of the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

   On our first day in Gisenyi Sally went to the Shalom office to debrief with Jean Paul and Eliane.  Bonnie went to Ubumwe Community Center (UCC) where she had spent some time several years ago.  To her surprise she was put right to work! She piled into a van full of 12 people with a wheelchair on the top and headed to the Community Based Rehabilitation (CBR), a subset of UCC, located about 45 minutes away.  Parents with children with disabilities gathered in an unused classroom waiting to be seen by the group of us.  Yvonne (the physical therapist at UCC) led the charge and organized the therapy for the day.  I was paired up with a physical therapy tech who I trained in typical child development and mobility and basic range of motion of joints.  

   After we each saw about 7 patients in a few hours, we returned to the center of the city where Bonnie got her first Motobike ride to Jean Paul's house for a late lunch! What an adventure.... or so Bonnie thought until she realized that she had only traveled a few hundred yards! 

  After lunch we returned to UCC to greet an old friend, Ngabo.  Sally and Bonnie had both met Ngabo 8 years ago in his home where we found a 16 year old boy crawling around in the dirt and unable to stand. It was then that Sally and Bonnie connected him to UCC to receive therapy and skills training. Sally and her teams have visited Ngabo every year since then.

Bonnie and Ngabo 2010

Ngabo greeted Sally and I with a smile reminiscent of eight years ago.  What a life that has changed for him! By attending UCC everyday Ngabo has gained confidence, friendships and life skills to make him more independent.  And now we are almost caught up with our blog!!

Bonnie, Ngabo nd Sally 2018

Gahanga Orphanage and Home Visits

    It was an exciting day to pull up to Gahanga Orphanage where Bonnie had first started her time in Rwanda eight years prior. The orphanage is run by Sister Emerite who has several other sisters under her direction taking care of 35 orphaned or abandoned children with disabilities. They have a total of 5 milking cows, two of which Windham Presbyterian Church (WPC) donated in January, 2017. "Blackie" and "Victory" are healthy and active!  These two cows both arrived at Gahanga with calves, a female named "Goodness" and a male.  The male the sold in the market in order to purchase items that they cannot produce on their small farm such as oil and rice.  We are pleased to announce that the young cow, "Goodness" is now pregnant and will give birth soon.  This sustainable gift allows the orphanage to keep enough milk for the children each day and sell the rest in the market so that they can pay for the physical therapist to treat the children 5 days per week. 

A fragrant lily detergent scent filled the air upon stepping into the new outdoor covered laundry room.  The cement floor and multiple covered clothes lines allow the Sisters to wash clothes and allow them to dry in a day or two.  Having this designated area  to be able to wash and dry frequently soiled sheets and clothes during rainy season changed the lives of the Sisters.  They are still able to use the uncovered clotheslines when it is sunny. 

Our next stop was to meet a young nursing student named Habimana Jean Marie Vianney, an orphan who some of you have supported through secondary school and now university. I (Sally) have known him since 2007. He will begin his final year of studies in January, and is near the top of his class of 91 students. Presently he is doing an internship at the Nyamata District Hospital. I am so impressed with this young man who is not only mature, intelligent and hard-working, but has an incredibly compassionate heart. He will make a terrific nurse. We were able to bring him a very good refurbished laptop and a donated iPhone 5. Both of these will help him to finish strong with his studies. When asked what he would do with his older laptop he said he wanted to give it to his foster brother who is studying accounting at university and has never owned a laptop before. I have been involved with many individuals and projects in Rwanda. Many have gone well, some have been real disappointments, but others, like helping Habimana, have been an absolute joy.

     Our day had not ended though. After returning to Kigali we headed back up the hills to Bumbogo because we had promised to make two stops to visit LWA children in their homes. We try very hard to keep our promises here. The rutted dirt road disappeared in front of our eyes as darkness fell at 6 pm. We were met at the base of a hill by the entire neighborhood who seemed to get around fine without the flashlights we were dependent on. We visited with two families. Elione is a very tiny 5 year old girl who Bonnie had worked with the day before. She shares the 2 room home with her father Damascene and mother Lilianne, along with two small sisters. They have received a goat from LWA in addition to other support. After that visit we walked down an incredibly steep hill and up the other side to the home of 6 year old Jean deDieu and his family of mom and dad, four brothers and one sister. What joy filled this tiny house. Jean deDieu was healthy until age 3 when, perhaps due to cerebral malaria, he suddenly could no longer walk or talk. Perhaps because of those first three years he is a much loved son and little brother. He has a thin mattress spread in the corner of the main room where he was laughing and playing with a therapy ball we had given him the day before. It was obvious that the brothers and father consider him a valued part of the family. You can see the smiles of Jean deDieu and his mother Claudine, and what a lovely family they are. LWA has provide him with a wheelchair and regular physical therapy. They have a tiny kitchen garden and would love to receive a goat as well. Jean deDieu is a part of LWA because Elione’s mother Lilliane invited Claudine to start bringing him to the center. Now they walk there together 5 days a week. Our prayer is that one by one children will come out of the shadows as one family seeks out another and welcomes them into the LWA family.

Monday - PT day at Love With Actions

  Our Monday began by making a trip to the local shopping center which had everything anyone would need stacked as individual kiosks in an indoor warehouse.  Aimee (LWA marketing director) and Joanitha (physical therapist) accompanied us so that we did not look completely out of place.  After investigating items from large burlap sacks of beans to plumbing products, we were able to locate what we came for: bath, face and hand towels for wheelchair positioning. Bonnie was gearing up for a full day of physical therapy evaluations of infants and children at Love with Actions. On our way out of the “warehouse”, one of the shop women complemented the scarf Sally was wearing around her neck.  Sally said, “Murakoze (Thank you)” and then proceeded to motion to her that she did not know how to wrap her head with it though and needed some real Rwandan instruction.  At that moment the entire warehouse of women were so happy to instruct Sally on Rwanda high fashion! I have since learned that fashion is made through the head scarf and women have their own intricate way of tying them which makes their own style.  I think this is similar to women having their own hairstyle in the US. I can see Mia getting all into the art of fabric folding, tucking and tying!

    After our warehouse exhibition, Bonnie and Joanitha started physical therapy evaluations as soon as we arrived at Love with Actions Center at 9:00 and did not stop until 6:30pm.  We broke for about 15 minutes to grab a granola bar.  Bonnie and Joanitha worked together evaluating 19 children with various diagnoses including malnutrition, cerebral palsy from cerebral malaria, post surgical club foot, spina bifida, autism, cerebral palsy, Down’s Syndrome and feeding issues. Bonnie brought with her 2 duffle bags of developmental toys which have been donated to the Love With Actions center.

   Feeding issues for malnourished children presented a challenge to Bonnie that we met with our best creativity. Sally boiled potatoes and made seriously overcooked rice with lots of excess water for Bonnie's proposed recipe. The Rwandan women stared with disbelief as if this crazy American woman had NO idea how to cook rice. I (Sally) kept trying to explain that at home I really DID know how to make proper rice. I then mashed the potatoes and rice very fine, adding the right amount of "rice water" to achieve the consistency Bonnie thought the children could handle. She then patiently showed the mother's how to get as much nutrition as possible into their precious kids.

    Every child seen at the center was not only alienated by his/her extended family but most from their own immediate family.  Some were placed in a dark room for the first two years of their life, resulting in acquired permanent blindness.  In the culture of Rwanda, it is believed that children born with disabilities are either cursed or the mother is cursed. Due to this abuse to the mother and child is common.  Most of the children evaluated have seen abuse to their mothers and experience extreme poverty where a bag of rice in their home is a blessing. This is so hard to understand in the culture we live in.  Since Love with Actions began bringing these children with disabilities out of their isolated world, reconciliation has also begun between husbands and wives and education shared about disabilities.  The women of Love with Actions have discovered a support group of other mothers and been able to learn a skill (sewing and basket making).  These women realize now they are not alone and lean on each other for support. Many of the women make the 45-60 minute walk the the LWA center together sharing a new friendship along the way with their babies strapped to their back. Gilbert has done an amazing job of befriending the fathers and meeting them where they are at and talking about disabilities.  The patience he has for these fathers is amazing.  God has given him a gift of counseling, listening and timing. Praise God for all the talents Gilbert has.  It is really making a difference in changing the perceptions of children with disabilities.

   We returned to our Kigali guesthouse about 7:30 pm, long after dark and with no dinner. Bonnie headed to the room to take her shower and find some snacks. Gilbert told Sally he had one small favor to ask before their day was over. He has made a new LWA video and needed the English script read at a recording studio. So off we went to a tiny recording studio in downtown. There was a two page script for me to first edit into good English form, and then read into the mic in a small dark recording room with Gilbert holding the flashlight by my side.

Fortunately, we accomplished it in one take, and the video is now ready to go out and update people on the LWA progress over their first year.

   For several days we have been getting to bed at midnight….but God has blessed us with sound sleep and energy for each new day. Thanks for praying!